St Jerome’s gave birth to a lot of funny memories, but the common thread to them all is a bunch of kids trying to make something good from little means. What ever had to be made, fixed or hired, there was always the right way and then ‘the Jerome’s way’. I once heard Jerome ask Johnny Sparks to try and get a light bulb for the toilet on a tradey discount.
My most vivid memories were…
Jerome telling me on my first day that the ‘the customer is always wrong’.
Paying myself from a dirty moneybox using the ‘honesty system’.
The wet seats outside, which were bits of broken down foam held together by constant reapplication of gaffer tape, and covered in chewing gum and a lot of beer.
The smell of the alleys ways, dead pigeons, abandoned Don Don boxes, and goon bags that people would drink in the alley ways before entering the bar.
Sometimes I felt like I bussed more McDonald’s rubbish and Slurpy cups than I did St Jerome’s latté glasses. I often referred to the backyard as a local park. It did feel that way. I think most people enjoyed St Jerome’s because they felt like it was a public part of the city that everyone felt they part-owned. This paved the way for a lot of bad behaviour, but mostly it just made everyone feel at home.
The boys turning the place into a theme park. Competitions were a big thing at Jerome’s: Who could stack the most crates, who could ride the seats down the fire exit stairs like a snowboarder without braining themselves, who could kiss the most sluts when they were bussing beer glasses on a Friday night (I think Brian won that challenge).
Sparky’s constant blackboard messages that were always making some sleazy or bitchy remark about either the customers or the world.
Shawn (le prawn), Sivaan and Danie’s dress up days.
Alfredo, the don, never on time, always parking his truck wherever he wanted, always chilling out in the corner and then recording it on the time sheet.
Johnny Sparks, Jerome’s side kick, always there for everyone. I used to laugh because it took Johnny so much time to get out of the bar, and after about eight scotch and cokes he finally would. He spent maybe 18 hours a day there. His poor ex-girlfriend!
The bouncers always taking bribes to get in and being sleazy.
Benny Bones’ air guitar.
Hiro going bright red after one beer.
Watching Josh rock up to work wearing nice expensive street wear and then changing into der-o clothes because no one at Jerome’s was worth dressing up for and he refused to go behind the bar in his fresh sneakers.
Monkey and I making food from home and then selling it and putting the money in the tip jar.
Watching Johnny and Dougie go from nerdy church boys to heart breakers and moneymakers, and constantly discussing what constitutes a ‘virgin’.
Andrea always going missing for a few hours in the middle of lunch service and returning with gelati and no idea where she had been.
Jerome trying to chum up to the head of liquor licensing at the bar, but after a few calling her a ‘total cunt’.
Liege and I convincing Jerome that a football player stole my iPod when in actual fact it was my friend Liz who climbed onto the bar and knocked the PA on top of it where it smashed into two pieces.
Johnny and Liege smashing the window into the abandoned part of Myer to plug in our sound system from Shit Town.
Sam Totty shooting vodka through his eye socket.
Spiro and Nick playing Notorious B.I.G and dancing on the tables.
Having secret make out sessions with Josh while we ‘re-stocked’.
Nathaniel going through the first aid box looking for goodies.
Everything was always breaking at St Jerome’s. It was either the fridge, the coffee machine, the beer fridge, or there was no ice. So you were either going to have an off sandwich, a warm beer, a juice instead of a strong coffee, or a gin and tonic with no ice.
Staff parties going for a week, ending with Jerome going missing.
We used to have competitions while cleaning up. Who could find the skankiest or weirdest shit — girls constantly took their underwear off on the dance floor, emo kids would leaves their diaries behind, or we would find shoes, drug bags, or condoms. People left pretty loose, so it never really surprised me
The funniest memory of all was locking Jerome in the bar at night after he had passed out on one of the benches. Just the idea of Jerome snoring, surrounded by the filth and the mice still makes me laugh.